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nicey=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke  Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:59 pm |
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| it is I! Diabetes man! |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
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Tjolbi=GCHQ= wrote: Quote: "You know Dave?" The barman asked me. "The ex-army guy?" "Yeah. What about him?" "He took a loaded gun into the local Mosque last night." "Shit," I said. "Did he kill anyone?" "No. He was overpowered before he could get a single shot off." "By the police?" "Nope. The smell." Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/asian/ ... z3WYQS4XVwlol _________________   Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 7:41 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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Quote: The Italian film industry is reportedly set to make a follow up to the 1992 film White Men Can't Jump. Black Men Can't Swim. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/other/cinema/ ... z3XyDK0cD5 
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 11:16 am |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
Posts: 109345
Location: manchester
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A man says to his wife, "What would you say if I told you I'd won the lottery?"
She says, "I'd take half and then leave you."
"Excellent," the guy says. "I had three numbers come up and won a tenner. Here's a fiver... now feck off!"
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 11:17 am |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
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Location: manchester
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A Yorkishireman and a Scouser go into Greggs the bakers.
The Scouser nicks 3 pies and puts them in his pocket, then boasts to the Yorkshireman, "Did you see that? The staff never even saw me."
The Yorkie says, "That's nowt mate, watch this."
So the Yorkshireman goes back into the shop and says to the manager, "Gi'us a pie and I'll show thee some magic," and eats the pie in front of him, and then does it twice more.
The manager says, "So, where's the magic in that?"
The Yorkie says, "Go and check that Scouser's pocket."
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[YSiM]COBRApt=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 2:46 pm |
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| SPANISH |
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Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:53 am
Posts: 1940
Location: Oporto --- Portugal
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_________________   Your Soul Is Mine
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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 3:45 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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did make me laugh that
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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And
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 7:11 pm |
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| Bow down to the master |
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Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:22 pm
Posts: 2036
Location: U will know.. when I kill u
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Haha _________________  .................................. FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish) 
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CoolHandLuke=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 10:28 pm |
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| NaughtyBoy |
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Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 5:12 pm
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Location: Earth2
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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:22 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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Quote: Prince Philip has been criticised for asking a volunteer at a community centre, "So who do you sponge off then?" Seems a bit like the pot calling the kettle black or, as Prince Philip would say, a bit like the coon calling the nigger a wog. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/celebrities/p ... z3gA8NG5y4
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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gemma=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:53 pm |
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| Made in Taiwan |
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Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:14 pm
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Location: Bonneville salt flats.
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Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Posh .
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
The driver replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."
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Don't worry Sony, I'll just cancel my date of birth and get a new one.
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And
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 11:48 am |
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| Bow down to the master |
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Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:22 pm
Posts: 2036
Location: U will know.. when I kill u
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LOL _________________ .................................. FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish)
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:27 pm |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
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Location: manchester
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So, I was walking through Mancheser and saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if He could help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I Asked, "Do have a copy of the U.K. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?"
The clerk said, "feck off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yeah, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
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[YSiM]COBRApt=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:21 pm |
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| SPANISH |
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Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:53 am
Posts: 1940
Location: Oporto --- Portugal
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_________________ Your Soul Is Mine
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:35 pm |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
Posts: 109345
Location: manchester
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The wife decided to take all the family to Alton Towers. Vertical drops, 5 "G" neck braking turns, loop the loops!
Then we arrived.
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[YSiM]COBRApt=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:02 pm |
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| SPANISH |
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Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:53 am
Posts: 1940
Location: Oporto --- Portugal
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True _________________ Your Soul Is Mine
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